He Tried To Warn You!

and the sow, though it is dividing the hoof, and cleaving the cleft of the hoof, yet the cud it bringeth not up -- unclean it is to you. Leviticus 11:7 (Young's Literal Translation)

Swine flu clearly has Jahweh's sticky fingers all over it. It conforms to His rather sloppy, brutal and heavy-handed modus operandus.

It will kill randomly but it will be a symbolic slaughter.

No one believed His followers when they insisted that US military dead were His way of telling America that gay marriage was wrong.

No one believed His followers when they told us that the devastation visited upon New Orleans was God telling His lowly subjects that He didn't much care for Jazz.

And no one believed His followers when they pointed out that this was further evidenced by His destruction of the artwork that was Jerry Springer the Opera; whose music, you may recall, was suspiciously syncopated at various points.

Jaweh hates Jazz.

And pigs.

And poofs.

He is, frankly, fucking weird. Don't listen to anyone who tells you He 'Moves in mysterious ways'; that's code for "mental' and it's best not to encourage either Him or them.

Just nod and walk off.